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Are penises visually attractive?

 CommentEllen ScottSaturday 25 Aug 2018 3:49 pm228SHARES

Why don’t dick pics instantly turn the recipient into a puddle of lust and sexy fluids?

Is it that men are visual creatures and women aren’t – that old idea wheeled out to explain everything from the popularity of strip clubs to a less-than-groomed man demanding a blonde with perfect breasts?

Or are penises just not visually attractive?

The men vs women difference isn’t so simple. Both men and women tend to go for people who are visually out of their league on dating apps, which implies that women, like men, base part of their attraction in someone’s physical appearance. So yes, women are visual too.Parents of six-year-old battling rare cancer are raising money for treatment, and other top stories from July 10, 2022.PauseNext videoFull-screenREAD MORE

So why is it that female nudity is considered automatically sexy, while a dick pic all too often feels embarrassing, awkward, gross, or funny?

Is it the difference between how the male and female brain perceive bodies? Or is it down to the objective attractiveness of male and female bodies?

Are penises aesthetically sexy? Are they physically attractive? Are all dick pics doomed to inspire zero lust? Does that only count when they’re sent to women?

And do you have to be visually attracted to someone’s genitals to describe yourself as attracted to them?

It’s complicated.

We asked some people attracted to men to take us closer to the answers.

Okay, straight up. Do you find penises visually appealing?

Austin, 20: Nope.

Emma*, 29: An erect penis is really sexy for me, but that doesn’t mean I want dick pics constantly.

Scott, 31: Yes I think it’s never ugly.

Harriet, 27: Penises are not particularly visually appealing. They are veiny, knobbly and generally quite weird. Some are nicer than others, but most are fairly unpleasant to look at.

Natalie, 26: No. In my opinion, penises are glorified sausages. Let’s be honest, all genitalia in general isn’t especially pretty to look at.

Alan*, 37: Sometimes.

Sarah, 30: When they are flaccid, they are funny looking and not visually appealing. However, when they are hard it’s easier to get over that oddness.

Laura, 27: 1. Yes and no – they’re not actually attractive looking things on the face of it.

Jess, 24: Yeah, in the same way I find anyone’s body parts visually appealing. If I saw my boyfriend’s arm on it’s own I probably wouldn’t be like omg hottest thing ever, but when part of his whole body it’s super hot.

Amy*, 23: I think they can be pretty in aesthetic terms, but they don’t turn me on.

Do you get turned on just by looking at a penis?

Austin: Nope.

Emma:  I get really turned on seeing my boyfriend’s penis get harder and harder and knowing it’s going to be inside me or in my mouth.

Scott: My partner’s one, yes, of course.

Harriet: Nope. It’s more the thought of what the penis might be able to do and what it might feel like rather than how it looks.

Natalie: Very rarely, and only if it signifies their own arousal (which can be a turn on)

Alan: Looking at an erect penis can turn me on, yes.

Sarah: A long, hard penis does to an extent. But it would definitely depend who it was on and what was about to happen.

Laura: Yes, they do turn me on.

Jess: Not in a standalone way, no. But then neither do vaginas. It’s all about the promise of what’s going to happen and the situation it’s in. In porn I quite like seeing the penetration itself but a dick in a still life scene wouldn’t really arouse me as much. That’s less about penises and probably more about how I’m visually stimulated.

Amy: Not at all. I get turned on by the situation and what the penis could do, not the penis itself, if that makes sense. I’d get more turned on imagining someone’s penis inside me than by just looking at a penis.

What makes a penis nice to look at?

Austin: Clean, kept bush, and hard.

Emma: It’s the way the blood rushing to that area gets them really red and a very obvious vein or two is such a turn on. Luckily for me, my boyfriend’s penis is absolute goals (ha – penis goals, is that a thing?) in terms of size for me. It just looks beautiful.

Scott: They are all different, you never see the same penis, so it’s interesting to see what it will be like.

Harriet: In my opinion an attractive penis is uncircumcised, clean, non-angry looking, a little bit veiny (but not too much), fairly thick, long (but not too long) – what can I say, I’m fussy.

Natalie: Nothing, unless they are dressed for comedic effect.

Alan: I’m not sure. The firmness of it maybe? I read an article about how men manifest their arousal in a more physical, i.e. visual, way and some guys find that a turn-on.

Sarah: What about a penis makes it nice to look at? Not having too much skin, not being surrounded by too much hair.

Laura: There is something about an erect penis, especially when you’re in ‘the moment’, that is inherently sexy; I think it’s more the connotations of how it got to be (I’ve turned the guy on enough) or what’s about to happen (sex!) rather than the visual image itself.

Jess: They’re quite proud aren’t they? Again, I like looking at a penis and thinking what’s going to happen next. ‘What that thang do?’

Amy: ‘Nice’ to look at means smooth, nice skin, trimmed pubic hair, not too veiny (it makes me worry a penis is about to explode), and not too big (the pain and UTIs aren’t worth it). But again, that just makes a penis ‘nice’ to look at, like a sculpture or a nice photograph. The visuals of a penis don’t turn me on.

Do you need to find penises visually attractive to be attracted to men? 

Austin: No, not all men have penises and there is 95% of the rest of the body that you can have a thing for. You are barely gonna see it.

Emma: You certainly don’t need to find a penis attractive to find men attractive. I’ve slept with men who I found intellectually stimulating and I wanted to sleep with them because of that and not just what was down there.

Scott: I fall for personality. With my partner I fell for his eyes and who he is, but I know some friends of mine that goes for a man just because they think they have a great penis.

Harriet: No, you definitely don’t need to find penises nice to look at to be attracted to men.

Natalie: Not at all – but at the same time I think you do have to enjoy sex with someone who has a penis in order to be attracted to men – so it’s more about the function of the penis than the look of it.

Alan: No, you can be attracted to someone in a number of ways: physically, romantically or sexually. It’s more about the act for me – a sexual experience. I don’t ‘notice’ guys when I’m out and have never been attracted to them in any other way.

Sarah: No, but you can’t be repulsed by them. There needs to be some level of appeal.

Laura: I don’t think that’s necessarily the case. The penis and the man are linked – you find a man attractive before you’ve even seen his penis.

Jess: I think genitalia in general get called gross a lot (people call it ‘bumping uglies’ for example) so it might have been conditioned into folk to think penises aren’t a sexy thing. But if you’re with a partner who has a penis and you can’t see that as part of their sexiness, I’d say that’s a worry.

You’d still be straight if you were a woman, but you’d definitely need to have a think about why you have trouble thinking a part of your sexual partner’s body is unattractive. Would you be okay if they thought your breasts or labia were unattractive?

Amy: I’m bi, which I think makes me less worried about what my feelings towards genitals mean. I’m not really turned on by anyone’s body parts in isolation, but I don’t find them repulsive either – they’re nice to look at, but I get turned on through interaction with a person.

*Names have been changed. 

So… not a definitive answer. 

Interestingly, the men we asked were more likely to say they were turned on by penises, or found penises visually attractive – but not all of them, so the debate really isn’t as clear cut as men being visual while women aren’t.

Some people find a penis sexy or beautiful in itself, others don’t, but none of the people we asked believe you have to be attracted to penises to be attracted to men. So you don’t need to question your sexuality just because you’re not deeply aroused by someone’s knob.

But what’s common among the responses we received is that context is important. A penis becomes attractive when it’s attached to someone who’s attractive in other ways, or when it’s about to bring someone pleasure.

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And that’s why an unsolicited dick pic is never sexy: because it’s free of all context. Get it?

If you’re questioning the sex appeal of your penis, your best bet is to ask the person whose judgement you value (your partner, the recipient of a striptease, whatever), and don’t panic if they say that actually, they don’t get aroused by just looking at your dick.

Sexual attraction is more complex and exciting than just looking at a penis and saying ‘ooh, I like that’. That’s part of what makes it fun.

Experiment, explore, and enjoy.

A note, before anyone gets angry: a vagina version of this article is incoming. Remain calm. 

MORE : Scottish sex terms you all need to know

MORE : How a sex drought affects your mind and body

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